Breaking the Name
by Poison Tree
Summary: Beast Boy's fed up with the hypocrisy of the other Titans. So he's developed a plan to give them some payback and get away from their hold on him. But first he has to 'deal' with Terra! Plz R&R! Flames welcome!
1. Anticipation

**Disclaimer**- I don't own Teen Titans or any of the characters in this story. The characters and the show-Teen Titans belong to DC Comics and its affiliates.

**Author's Note**: My view of Beast Boy in this story is my own and may be different from what some are used to and/or expect. So he will be somewhat if not severely Out of Character (OC). In my story Beast Boy/Garfield will become somewhat more hardcore and decisive than the telivised and widely accepted version of him. This is one of my interpretations of his "POTENTIAL". Please Enjoy!

Flames and Reviews welcomed

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**CHAPTER ONE**- Anticipation

---**Garfield's View**---

It will be cold tonight. He thought grimly to himself. That was the only way he thought anymore.

He was on the roof of the Titans Tower. It had snowed heavily two days before and it had been overcast yesterday. The snow still covered the roof in small piles. Some places were still clear. He didn't care that it was cold. The cold reminded him that he was alive. He was standing on the ledge. He had no intention of jumping; he just liked standing this way, at the edge of a great fall. The sun, despite the cold, was shining brightly. As though to mock him and his gloomy mood.

He thought wryly to himself that if his friends cared at all about him they would be trying to cheer him up. Even if they had cared enough to come looking for him he didn't think cheer was anything he'd ever feel again. It felt like his heart was broken. The ache in his chest wouldn't leave and the thought of being alive for very much longer seemed unbearable.

His thoughts were dark, his outlook darker. His future was a barren waste lying before him in plain view. He was alone.

Garfield had never had such desolate thoughts before, but everything seemed hopeless. Terra had returned to the Titans. After spontaneously regaining her memory she came waltzing back into his life only to remind him of the losses he had suffered. They seemed numerous. He'd lost that woman four or five times now and he just couldn't bare the thought of going through all that again. Not that he was inclined to set himself up for the fall. Though he was sure that she expected him to.

She had even flirted with him after her arrival…the slut. She actually thought he was interested, and from what he could tell everyone else had thought he would be. Cyborg had answered the door and he was just walking into the room when he heard Cyborg say something like, "Beast Boy's gonna be glad to see you!" As if.

After he had tried to jog her memory he had been forced to sit down and think about his life. He came to five conclusions:

ONE: Terra was a conniving, low-down, scum-of-the-earth bitch, at least when she wasn't in the grips of amnesia.

TWO: He had never been attracted to her personality at all. He had just thought she was pretty. He couldn't really understand what he'd ever seen in skinny-ass blondes.

THREE: If he ever saw her again he'd tell her exactly what he thought about her.

FOUR: He needed to start taking things more seriously.

FIVE: His "friends" were all pricks. At least the one's who pretended to be his friends were. That only left out; Raven, Blackfire, and Jinx.

Jinx had joined the Titans after the Kid Flash had been in some sort of accident. She didn't like to talk about it. He assumed that whatever had happened, involved the Kid Flash being maimed or having his legs severely injured. As far as he knew the Kid Flash was out of the business.

Blackfire had joined the group under fairly different circumstances. She was again being chased by galactic police for her numerous crimes when she happened upon our solar system. She fled to Earth seeking refuge. She contacted the Justice League rather than the Titans, simply because the Justice League didn't know her. She pretended to be a traveler who was being chased by thugs. The Justice League being full of all-to-ready-boy-scouts came to her rescue. Needless to say the truth eventually came out and a deal was brokered with the galactic police. In return for amnesty Blackfire would surrender her ship, her weapons, all stolen goods, and be exiled to Earth for the remainder of her days. She was placed in the custody of three parties, organized somewhat like local, state, and federal governments. The most direct being her sister Starfire, the second most direct being the Teen Titans, and as a last resort the Justice League. Blackfire had decided that running from the police forever was far too hectic and decided, reluctantly to give in to the demands.

The wind blew in a gust and snow fell from the building. He was reminded momentarily of his surroundings before he slipped off into his thoughts again.

Jinx had come to the Tower nearly three months ago, Blackfire had arrived about a month later, and Terra had come waltzing into the Tower just yesterday afternoon.

Terra had apparently come to the Tower under the impression that she would more-or-less be welcomed back and that after a little while all would be forgiven, and more-or-less that's what happened. They forgave her, but he didn't. He never would.

She had abandoned him more than once during a time when he was needy. It had hurt more than anything he had ever felt. Worse than all the bruises and cuts he'd ever suffered.

Well he wasn't a needy little boy anymore. He'd changed, recently in fact. And soon…they'd all find out the hard way.

He smiled wickedly to himself. He'd never smiled wickedly or even in a mean spirited way before… He'd never realized why villains smiled that way or why they continuously plotted… He understood now…

It felt good… Good to be in control and to be the one with all the cards.

His smile changed to a joyful one as he relished in the chill breeze of winter. The bright sun at one o'clock made the scene all the better. The sky was a deep, azure blue dotted here and there with white, fluffy wisps of clouds. It was a truly beautiful winter scene that can only truly be appreciated from a reasonable height.

He could smell the new storm on the horizon. The one he'd been waiting for… This one was going to make two days ago look like light frost. He watched as the edge of the horizon darkened with the coming storm… It would cross the distance in the night and be here by morning.

Now all that was left to do was wait…

---**Starfire's View**---

She wasn't excited as she usually was. An apprehension had settled over her and she was afraid that something terrible was going to happen. It had started just a little while ago…

It was now 1:13 PM on earth and the Titans had just finished dealing with Dr. Light…again. Whenever Dr. Light sprang up she couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor man. Always trying to get away with some crime that he should know by now he would never get away with while the Titans were here. He truly was hopeless.

In recent months she had been very happy…very happy indeed. Her sister had joined the Titans and they had reconciled their differences…for the most part. Another wondrous thing that had happened was that she and Robin were becoming more serious. She quite enjoyed the "making out".

Jinx had come to the Tower as well and she was happy to have a new friend. But she felt that Jinx was very sad over whatever had happened to the young Flash. She wouldn't talk about it…with anyone. She was happy that she, Blackfire, Jinx, and Raven could all be friends.

Now Terra had come back after having recovered her memory and Starfire had thought that perhaps now everyone would be very happy indeed.

But now she thought that this would not happen. For some reason, Beast Boy's absence from the fight had given her the "willies." She was now inexplicably worried for her friend. What she found distressing was that none of her other friends shared her worry. In fact, they all seemed very angry that Beast Boy had not shown up to help. He had completely disappeared. She had searched all the rooms in the Tower and still she could not find Beast Boy.

There was only one place she hadn't looked and that was the roof… Somehow she didn't like the idea of going up there alone. Even though she'd been on the roof several times before, something just didn't feel right. She asked several times if the rest of the team would come up with her, and finally they said yes…more out of a want to yell at Beast Boy than anything else.

She led the way up the stairs to the roof exit, walking partly because there was little room to fly and partly because she didn't want to get too far ahead. Her mouth went dry and her muscles tensed. As she made her way up the final steps she could only anticipate what would happen next.

---**Robin's View**---

He was pissed. The rest except for Starfire were behind him both mentally and physically.

The fight with Dr. Light had been as usual nothing special and not much of a challenge all around. With the addition of Blackfire and Jinx they were even better than before.

One of the things he liked about having so many powerful teammates around was that they all made him look better. He loved the spotlight. Being a boy who depended on his own strength and his own wits in a fight instead of powers made him a star. Because that meant that he was just that much better.

Seeing as how he managed to keep up with and even lead so many powerful fighters meant that as far as heroes went he was one of the best.

Beast Boy made it even better. He'd been the team screw-up from the beginning. Being able to transform into any animal he chose meant that Beast Boy could fight a million different ways. He ought to have been prepared for any situation, but he just couldn't cut it.

In the end he was barely even sidekick material. Beast Boy was a slacker no matter how you cut it. That suited Robin just fine…all the more publicity for him.

As they walked up the long flight of stairs and passed the many storage rooms he couldn't help but smile inwardly at all the luck he'd had in life. He was the star of his own show, he had all these "super" heroes running around at his beck and call (though he'd never say that to their faces), and he had a gorgeous alien girlfriend that was at the moment providing him with a very appreciable view. Things were looking good…

As much as he would have loved to revel in his thoughts…he had business to attend to… Beast Boy.

He thought the name with menace. Beast Boy was a pain in the ass. He was an insignificant bug that played a meager, though sometimes useful, part in his scheme of things.

The way he saw it none of them needed Beast Boy…he was really just an extra. All he was good at was making them look better and taking the blame for any mistakes that were made.

He was going to have a little "talk" with Beast Boy later that night. His "talks" kept Beast Boy in line. Beast Boy never blabbed about it, he was too much of a coward. In fact, he intended to have a very long and violent "talk" with Beast Boy.

They were almost at the top of the stairs and he began to wonder what it was that might have spooked Starfire. She was the only one who'd been worried about Beast Boy instead of mad at him. He couldn't wait to be done with Beast Boy and get to Starfire. He chuckled to himself anticipating the moment.

They reached the top of the steps at last. Now he could deal with Beast Boy's insurrection…

-**END CHAPTER**-


	2. Not Today

**Disclaimer**- I don't own Teen Titans or any of the characters in this story. The characters and the show-Teen Titans belong to DC Comics and its affiliates.

**Author's note**: A big apology to anyone who was waiting for this. There aren't many of you so thanks for being patient. (not that you had much choice) I fear this won't be as good as the first chapter. (assuming that it was any good) No one read it first like last time. And I rewrote parts of thischapter more than five times. I was originally going to give Beast Boy a knife/dagger/sword or something and have him do a "kata" on the roof with it. Decided that if he had a weapon he might be tempted to use it so I scrapped the idea. Then I was going to have him sing some song or something. I do that when I'm feeling down. (sing a sad/angry song or two) Scrapped that idea forfour important reasons: 1) I couldn't decide whether or not the song should be long or short. 2) I couldn't decide which song to choose. I had a few. 3) I was going to post a link so you guys could hear the song if you hadn't heard it before. Then I thought my audience might not share my taste in music. AND FINALLY REASON 4) I thought having him sing while standing "alone" on a roof might be a little gay. Definitly something to avoid. So without further adieu I present...Chapter 2 of "BREAKINGTHE NAME"!

Note for Dialogue-- Bold case letters in dialogue represent thoughts

**CHAPTER TWO**- Not Today

---**Raven's View**---

It was just another notch on the long list of annoying things that Beast Boy did. She couldn't, nor did she wish to, fathom why he was so…odd? She couldn't think of a decent word for it. Odd, strange, whiny, selfish, etc. the list went on. There was just something about him… Something that…demanded attention, not respectful attention mind you but attention none-the-less. He even seemed to crave the attention. Needy? Was that a good word? It didn't really matter. What he was was in trouble.

Beast Boy had blatantly refused to answer to the alarm. He had purposefully skipped out on the fight. This time it had been Dr. Light and no harm had been done. Despite the Titans new strength it was imperative that they all be prepared to fight a villain whose strength surpassed their own. Because it was absolutely certain that there was one out there somewhere even if they hadn't shown their face just yet. When the day came where they would have to fight someone or something of superior strength then they would all have to be ready. At least that was Robin's reasoning behind it.

Beast Boy was never ready. Not for anything. He didn't train, he didn't work, he basically did nothing. His laziness was the source of a good part of Raven's contempt for him. Still… There was something about him. She couldn't quite place it but something about him was very… likeable. She didn't know if "likeable" was the word but it would do for now. There were more pressing matters at hand.

They were all prepared to give Beast Boy a piece of their minds but what exactly they were each going to say remained to be seen. Blackfire and Robin didn't look cheerful to say the least. Even Cyborg seemed kind of peeved. Personally she didn't think yelling at Beast Boy would have much of an impact. She intended to explain the situation as calmly as possible and make Beast Boy feel as guilty as she could. That would have the desired effect.

Emotions tended to rule the weaker minded and she found that people would ignore their better judgment and their pride completely if their emotions were strong enough. Emotions clouded the mind and cast reason to the wind. Emotion had coined the phrase, "when fools rush in." Why else would fools be rushing anywhere?

Beast Boy didn't rush anywhere, not even in a fight unless it was personal. If she had to guess she'd say that he'd fallen asleep somewhere and just didn't want to wake up. She didn't really expect to find Beast Boy on the roof.

But then again… He had been acting strange for about a week now. It had started after Robin had taken him aside and apparently berated him for whatever it was that he had messed up. She pitied Beast Boy; he always seemed to have some kind of accident at just the wrong moment. His more than corny jokes didn't make up for it either. Neither did his "winning personality". Was that what it was? Was that why she liked him? His personality? His carefree-everything-will-be-ok attitude, was that it?

She realized with a start that they had reached the door. She realized it in this way:

"Watch where your going Raven!" Blackfire exclaimed venomously. "Wha- Oh! Sorry Blackfire." She said feeling foolish for not watching where she was going. "Yeah, well count yourself lucky that I'm more pissed at that stupid fur ball right now. I'm gonna kill him for this."

"What's the big deal it was just Dr. Light?" chimed in Jinx from behind Raven. Blackfire screamed, "That stupid old fuck just pissed me off ok!" then turned around red-faced arms crossed over her chest.

Jinx giggled/whispered to Raven, "It must be that time again, (girl giggle)." Raven wasn't normally the type to make fun of others but couldn't resist whispering back, "Isn't she a little early this month?" They both giggled at the joke.

(Note: Raven has giggled on occasion, one little giggle won't shatter anything! And it isn't an unusual thing to laugh at your own joke!)

"Shut the hell up!" screamed Blackfire, shaking a fist angrily at the two girls. "Hey!" The girls looked up startled. "All of you be quiet… Do you hear that?" Robin looked like he was concentrating on something.

They all listened intently and found that someone was singing…and it was coming from the roof.

---**Robin's View**---

The singing was faint with the door closed. He couldn't tell who it might be. It didn't sound like Beast Boy, but he could just have a different singing voice. It seemed to be a sad song. It was a song of mourning, which the singer was singing with great feeling, as though it spoke their soul. He couldn't quite make out the words though.

The song came to an end and all was silent. He moved in front of Starfire and opened the door himself. Slowly peeking out…he saw nothing. He opened the door and stepped out.

The air was cold; the sun was bright and wisps of cloud floated in the cerulean sky. The roof was covered with patches of snow. The day was beautiful…but no one noticed.

He could hear someone humming loudly behind the roof's storage shed. Robin crouched down in a ready position, the others following him onto the roof. He motioned with his fingers for Cyborg, Raven, and Terra to go left around the shed (the shed is directly in front of the door for convenience). He motioned for Starfire and Blackfire to go right around the shed. Lastly he motioned for Jinx to follow him.

The two of them jumped up onto the roof of the shed, which considering that they're both rather skilled acrobats wasn't very hard. They landed as silently as possible. They crept quietly to the edge of the shed and crouching, peered downward at the figure standing on the ledge/rail.

The figure was silhouetted against the city in the background. He was staring out over it like a ruler surveying his kingdom. He was standing on the ledge and his feet were more or less surrounded by snow. He wasn't wearing any shoes either. As for clothes he wore nothing but black pants. But his most defining characteristic was that he was covered from head to foot in green fur.

"**Beast Boy!**" Robin thought with malicious contempt. "**Oh! He's in for it now!**" Robin was just about to go down and get started with him when he heard a muffled struggling on his right. Beast Boy was still humming obliviously while Blackfire was trying to get past her sister so she could strangle him. "**That stupid bitch is going to ruin it if she doesn't shut-the-hell-up!**" he thought.

Jinx gasped and whispered loudly, "Where'd he go?" Robin and the others took their attention away from Blackfire to look at where Beast Boy had been standing a moment ago. They all came out from hiding to investigate where Beast Boy had been. Terra looked over the side while Blackfire and Starfire searched the skies. Beast Boy was nowhere in sight.

Starfire exclaimed in a worried voice, "Where is he? Where could he have gone?" They continued searching but found nothing conclusive until Raven bothered to look up at the roof of the shed. A green cat was sitting there attentively watching them while they searched. They all paused one by one until they were all standing still just staring at the cat as it watched them with a vague interest. As though it were trying to understand why they were behaving so foolishly when he had been sitting here the whole time in plain sight.

The cat picked up its right paw and licked it a few times and ran it over its face. It looked as though it had become bored with the spectacle and was getting ready to leave when it apparently decided to meet the Titans half way. The cat jumped down from the roof of the shed and walked a few steps toward the Titans before stopping and sitting back on its haunches to resume cleaning itself. The cat was apparently waiting for the Titans to do something… So Robin did.

Robin started simply, "Where…have you been?" he said, visibly trying to remain calm. The cat tapped its right paw on the roof. Apparently, Robin hadn't been expecting this so he decided to be a little firmer. "Beast Boy!" he said not hiding the threat in his voice.

He turned back into his human form. "Yes?" he said innocently. "WHERE…HAVE…YOU…BEEN?" Robin yelled. "Right here. Why? Did I do something wrong?" Robin was looking more and more…upset. "HERE? HERE! That's all you've got to say for yourself? 'Sorry guys I was just on the roof all day long.' That's IT?" Robin was beginning to hyperventilate with frustration. Starfire put her hand on Robin's shoulder in an attempt to calm him.

He shook her hand off angrily and started toward Beast Boy who had put on a puzzled look. "Well…I can't say that I've been up here 'all' day." Robin paused waiting as patiently as possible for Beast Boy's excuse. "I mean look at the sun." He pointed at the sun briefly and looked back at everyone. "The day's not over yet, now is it?" He smiled at his remark.

"'The day's not over yet' that's what you've got to say for yourself?" Blackfire exploded, stepping up next to Robin. Beast Boy looked confusedly at Blackfire and then back at Robin. "I don't understand. What am I supposed to say? I've been up here for awhile and that's the truth. Did I miss something?" Beast Boy said somewhat abashed.

"Did you mi-? Oh come on man!" Cyborg said exasperatedly. "How long exactly have you been up here with no clothes on?" asked Jinx inquisitively. Beast Boy chuckled to himself and said knowingly, "Well… Let's just say that the stars are quite beautiful from up here. The sunrise was rather fetching to."

The others looked at him astonished. It was now 1:30 PM at least. The sun rose at 5:30 AM. That meant that he had to have been up here at least eight hours! Without much of a voice Jinx whispered, "Stars… Sunrise… I-Wha? But that means…how many hours is?" She looked around at the others searching for an answer. Beast Boy chuckled at their shocked faces. "Yeah… Maybe one of youladies would like to see the sunrise with me sometime?" he said flirtatiously.

Then Blackfire started again, "The only thing I'm doing at 5:30 in the morning is beating the shit out of the dumbass that woke me up!" she raised her fist threateningly. "But since you've already offered I think I'll just beat you now!" She started toward him. "Come on I was joking. Cut a guy some slack." He held his hands up defensively and smiled helplessly, trying to placate the enraged exile. "Oh I'll cut you something alright! Come here you little!" She dove after him trying frantically to get a hold of him.

"Blackfire! Stop!" She turned to see who had interrupted her. It was Robin… "Huh? But why?" she looked back at Beast Boy, "He deserves a good beating!" At this Robin shook his head, "No not yet… He deserves the chance to defend himself… Let's hear his excuse, then when it isn't good enough we can punish him." Robin flashed a sinister smile at Beast Boy trying to make the green changeling afraid. "Well… You heard the man… Let's hear it…meat!" breathed Blackfire evilly.

"Ookaay… What do you want to hear?" he said nervously chuckling at his own predicament. "Why don't you start at when andwhy you came up here?" Jinx interjected a little aggravated. "Ok then… Well I woke up around 4:20 AM because of a dream I've been having lately. I took ten minutes to calm down and came out on the roof because I didn't want to go back to sleep. The dream kinda freaked me out ya know. So anyway I came up here to think for a while and then I decided to just chill out here for today. I guess I came up here around… 4:30. Does that about cover it?"

"No! It doesn't!" said Robin with authority. "Why did you ignore the alarm? You know that it's important that we always be ready! That means all of us!" he said the last as gravely as possible to add gravity to the situation.

Beast Boy stood as tall as he could, and with a grim look of defiance he said this: "I will not fight today, NOT ON THIS DAY! I told you that when I joined the team. We just happened to not have any trouble on 'this' day for the last few years. I won't fight today! Not now and maybe not ever!" he stared them down with a look of anger and determination.

"What exactly is so special about today?" Raven asked raising an eyebrow.

-**END CHAPTER**-

**Author's Request**: If you guys could please tell me how you feel about me having Beast Boy fight in his human form I'd appreciate it. I can go any direction with this I just want to know if you're all ok with him not using his transformation abilities so much. Kind of a proof of his strength kind of thing...you know? Well if I could get some input this will go faster. Don't worry about the next chapter it ought to be easier.

...until the next time


	3. What We All Must Bear

**Laburnum's Warning**- I don't own the Teen Titans or any characters in this story, thus far. This is a Raven/Beast Boy fic, thus far. The real names of the Teen Titans will be interchanged with their 'pseudonyms' on a regular basis so if you don't know them try to pay attention. The name 'Changeling' is owned by DC Comics and is an apparent testament to someone's lack of creativity…and thus will not be used in this fic. This fic is the first in a trilogy and the entire story will be written in the form of 3 fics: a first part (breaking the name), a second part (you guys gotta wait for this), and a third part (you gotta wait for this too). If anybody wants to know why I call myself "Laburnum" just read my profile…if you don't then shut up… Lastly the name "Laburnum" will be used in place of "Author" so an "Author's note" would be "Laburnum's note". I know that sounds a little weird and stuff but I have a very good reason for doing so…It's my note dammit and I will use my pseudonym as much as I dam well please so back off!

And now... Without further adieu... Or whatever... I present this here...thingamabob...

Please Enjoy :)

**CHAPTER THREE**- What We All Must Bear

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

---**Terra's View**---

The fire seemed to drain out of him and he averted his gaze so he looked at nothing in particular. "What do you care? It's not your problem is it? It's my problem...no one else's." He turned and started to walk away. He looked like he was in great pain and had just given up hope of ever not being in pain…

She couldn't just let him walk away like that. "Beast Boy…" she said softly. He seemed to flinch at his own name. "What is it now?" he responded in a tired voice without turning around. "Please… just tell us what's wrong…" she said in a caring voice.

"Why should I… So you can feel sorry for me? So you can say 'It's okay Beast Boy.' 'It's not your fault Beast Boy.' Well SCREW that! I don't WANT your pity! So just leave me ALONE!" He stalked off back down the stairs, his body shaking with rage.

She hadn't known him as long as the others…but she thought she knew him better, given their past… She had no idea that he felt this way about anything… She hadn't seen him this mad since she had betrayed him to Slade… She had vowed that somehow she'd find a way to make it up to him… She had a few things in mind that would at least be a start… She smiled inwardly at her own thoughts…

It seemed like a good time to help Beast Boy 'relieve some tension'. She started to go after him…until she felt a hand on her shoulder… She turned to see Raven holding her back… She groaned inwardly, "**What does this stupid bitch want now? She should have figured out by now that he's mine!**"

That's what she thought… What she said was somewhat more hospitable… "What?" she said as innocently as she could. "Give him some time to himself… He'll be fine after he calms down." Raven said in a gentle tone.

"**What? Who the hell does this bitch think she is!**" "Not all of us just need to be alone! Sometimes it's more comforting if you have someone who cares there with you! But I guess you wouldn't know about that would you?" she replied before running after Beast Boy.

---**Raven's View**---

"Give him some time to himself… He'll be fine after he calms down." She wasn't even sure why she had bothered to say it at first. Then on reflection she decided that she had said it because she wanted what was best for Beast Boy…that's why she said it; in the hopes that Terra would look to Beast Boy's best interests and not her own.

"Not all of us just need to be alone! Sometimes it's more comforting if you have someone who cares there with you! But I guess you wouldn't know about that would you?" was all she said before running off after Beast Boy not paying any heed to Raven's advice.

Raven had known better even before the words had left her mouth… It was times like this that she was glad that she was empathic instead of telepathic… She could sense Terra's bitter resentment of her and the anger that had flared when Terra had realized exactly who had stopped her… Raven was all too certain that whatever it was that Terra had thought was in all probability far more harsh than her words… Raven was also rather glad that the trivial little insults of a person like Terra didn't faze her… "**I suppose if they did I'd have destroyed the city by now…**"

She had known that Terra wouldn't listen; she was far too selfish to hear reason. It seemed like all too many humans had the exact same problem. Of course…(**1**) humans were full of problems…so many in fact that most humans weren't even aware of half of them. It was for these reasons that she was very glad indeed that she was only half human…even though being half demon came with a new list of problems all their own…

She remembered the time in her childhood when she'd been forced to live among demons…Among demonic society there were of course civil laws, but the law that all demons knew by instinct was, "**Kill or be killed…strike or be stricken…live at all costs**". Those who failed to abide this law: those who were killed, those who were stricken, and those who had failed or refused to pay the price; had simply failed at life and did not deserve it…

Demons were a cold-blooded sort with no fear, compassion, mercy, or kindness… Only cold logic and hot anger… Raven was not, however, your average demon…she was half human… Being half human and half demon meant that she had all the reasoning and instincts of a demon; and yet at the same time all the emotions and weaknesses of a human…

Raven had an ability that was lacking among humans… The strength of will to ignore her emotions, to push them away and deny them all together… She could barely remember what life was like before her training… Those short sweet years she had spent with her mother…in Azurath… She longed for those years when she could feel without consequence… Those years now long turned to dust…

The only thing that cheered her up was that she didn't have to fall prey to those not so subtle human frailties… Greed, stupidity, blind emotions with no restraint…

It was greed and stupidity that drove Terra now… She was taking the chance that she could make Beast Boy feel better with her presence when in fact, if one weighed the facts in a demonic (logical) manner, there was actually a much greater chance of making things a very great deal worse than they already were… She briefly wondered what Beast Boy's reaction would be when she was stirred from her thoughts…

"Raven... Raven!" She looked up startled to see a confused Jinx looking at her intently. "You're not going to take that from her are you? Who does she think she is?" Jinx exclaimed in exasperation looking after the retreating blonde. Raven was about to reply when Blackfire interjected, "I don't know what that little bimbo is thinking but if she had been talking to me there wouldn't be enough skinny-blonde hoe left to put in a Ziploc bag. You're gonna go after her right! I wanna watch this! That little bitch has been getting on my nerves ever since she got here."

(**2**) Raven chuckled at her friends' concern with the situation and then replied; "I don't think I'll have to do anything to her…" This won her astonished looks from Cyborg, Jinx, and both Starfire and Blackfire…while Robin, nonchalant as ever, only raised an eyebrow (**3**). There was a stunned silence for what seemed like an eternity until Blackfire finally found the words she had been looking for…

"You're just going to take that from that little bitch? What's wrong with you have you lost your backbone or something?" she asked outraged at the thought of letting the offense slide… She was apparently about to continue her inquisition of Raven's suddenly docile temperament when Starfire piped in with one of her painfully stupid sounding questions… "Sister, why do you continuously curse friend, Terra? And why are you suddenly so concerned with Raven's spinal column? Is it out of place?" at this last statement Starfire began to peer curiously at Raven's back…

All the other Titans deadpanned (**4**) as Starfire once again displayed her inability to understand figures of speech and the not-so-lovey-dovey feelings of others… Raven was sure that if anyone else had answered Starfire they would have been as patient as possible…but Blackfire had absolutely no tolerance for her sister's naivety…

"Koriand'r you look and sound a hundred times more intelligent when you don't say anything at all!" she said as she put her gloved hand on her forehead in some attempt to summon patience… At this remark Starfire only blinked and gave a puzzled look…much like that of a dog that fails to grasp the command it is given…

Blackfire was about to begin again when Raven calmly stated, "I just think that someone else is going to give her what's coming to her this time…" Blackfire and Jinx both gave Raven a confused look and Raven decided it was best to just go and see what was going on for themselves. "Just follow me you'll understand when we catch up to her", she said with a smile and a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

She walked on ahead of them and they all followed her wondering what she knew that no one else seemed to… They all walked down the stairs trying to keep up with Raven who was walking quickly because she didn't want to miss anything… She had a feeling that Beast Boy was going to end up doing the dirty work for her anyways…so she figured that they all might as well be around to see what happened…

At first she wasn't sure where Beast Boy was…she didn't much care where Terra was since she was sure that somehow or other the little (**5**) blonde fool would be there with him before they got there… So she sought the anger that she knew would be there and sure enough she felt a rather large amount of anger coming from the gym…

She headed that way as quickly as she could hoping to get there to see the start of the festivities… Terra's misfortune would be a hundred times more sweet at the hands of the one person she never expected it from…as far as she was concerned Beast Boy should have forgotten about her as soon as she turned on them the first time…but Beast Boy had continued to be obstinately hopeful about Terra…and frankly she found it more annoying than anything else he had ever done…

It seemed as though he would be a child forever…she had thought for almost the entire first two years of there 'friendship' that he would always be a stupid little boy…and for those first two years she had been so disgusted with him that she couldn't even begin to pity him… Then one day…

-----**About one year ago (Before Terra)**-----

_It had been early in the morning… It was the middle of fall… She was the only one up this early…or at least she thought that she was the only one up… Somewhere around 6:40 in the morning Beast Boy walked quietly out of the hall and into the common room… At his appearance her first thought was, "Well there goes the quiet peaceful morning!" _

_But Beast Boy wasn't his usual exuberant self that morning…he seemed worn out…and…distracted. He didn't even talk to her at first, he just stood behind her presumably watching her read 'One of her Big Books' as he had called them… Raven only knew that Beast Boy was there… She couldn't tell what he did while he was behind her… Whether or not he took the time to think of his words carefully or if he just stared at her or something else with a brain-dead stare…She didn't really care because as soon as he had walked in she had decided to be fully prepared to ignore him for as long as possible…_

_It ended up however that Beast Boy was in such a somber mood that he was in no way inclined, at that moment at least, to do anything that was annoying… As soon as Raven sensed this change of pace she was immediately enveloped by a wave of apprehension… This was completely unnatural for Beast Boy… She briefly hoped that the change was permanent but admonished herself for being overly hopeful…_

_Raven decided that if Beast Boy needed to talk to someone about something or other then he would do it in his own time…She went back to reading her book…and managed to get a few more pages in before Beast Boy came and sat down at the table… He wasn't in uniform, but considering how early in the morning it was that was understandable… He was wearing a white muscle shirt and blue boxers. _

_She continued to read her book deciding that if Beast Boy wanted to talk to her then he would have to take the initiative… "**That should keep him busy for a while…**"_

_He sat there for a long time not doing anything at all… Just sitting… Staring into nothingness… It was almost as if time had frozen…like it would be this way forever…just sitting…doing…saying nothing…but then…_

_"Hey Raven…" Beast Boy had asked her tentatively. She looked up from her book, somehow more relieved than annoyed that he had interrupted her. "Yes…" she said monotonously. "Do you know…" he paused. She thought for a second that his brain had gotten stuck in the middle of asking her the only serious question he'd ever uttered, then he continued with a half-hearted laugh, "I know this is going to be a weird question but…"_

_He looked sad as he asked her, "Raven, do you know anything about…death?" The question shocked her…Death? It was the last question she'd expected from him… And frankly she was a little annoyed that he had chosen her as the most likely recipient to this rather sensitive subject… "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean…" she said inquisitively. _

_"Well I just wanted to know if…you…you know…considering your background…if you knew anything about what happens when…" he stopped as though there was something wrong with the rest of his sentence. "you…die…" he finished. "Considering my background? Just what is that supposed to mean?" she said irately. As though he had only just realized the meaning of his words he started fumbling over his words embarrassed and ashamed, "I didn't mean it like that! I just… I… Oh man!"_

_He put his hands on his head in frustration and cried out as he laid his head on the table, "Arrgh… Don't you get enough pleasure out of torturing me already? Do you really have to make me feel like a total jerk, right now?" She giggled at his predicament…he was always fun to mess with… "Ok Beast Boy…I get your meaning…just stop crying about it." she teased. "Crying! I'm not crying…" he exclaimed sitting up straight. She giggled at him again…he just made it so easy._

_"Grrr… Are you gonna answer me or not!" He nearly shouted at her. He was glaring venomously at her now…as though he were trying to threaten her into answering him… "**Hmph… Does he really think that that will work?**" She decided that she had had enough of playing with him… "Are you asking me about afterlife?" she asked matter-of-factly. "Yes, Raven that's what I'm asking about…" he said obviously losing his cool along with his patience… _

_"Look, I can understand why you might think I know something about death, but you know about as much as I do in this… Which now that I think about it makes me feel mentally challenged…" she cringed at the thought of her intellect being comparable to Beast Boy's… "Hey! Are you calling me retarded?" he exclaimed outraged at the implication. "No… Why? Would that make you feel smarter?"_

_She expected him to blow a gasket and start yelling at her… She realized in that moment that, considering that she was the one who wanted peace and quiet she sure was all too ready to make the opposite happen… But instead of getting mad he just stared at her condescendingly…as though she had just said the most insanely stupid thing ever…_

_"What?" she said a little irritated at his unexpected reaction… "Oh nothing… It's just that I realized something…" she raised an eyebrow in curiosity as though to say, 'Go on'… "You guys are always telling me how immature I am and that I should grow up…and I've decided to do just that…" he said proudly. Raven just about face planted… "**Beast Boy! Mature! I must be dreaming!**" "Yep I've decided to do that just as soon as you guys stop acting like fucking children!" Raven's face turned bright red as Beast Boy glared at her. "**I can't believe I bought that!**"_

_"You tell me to grow up when the only thing you can do is say stuff to get me mad on purpose! And I get yelled at because you constantly insult me! Get a fucking life, Raven!" he abruptly got up and started to walk out. "Wait!" she yelled after him. He turned around before he got to the hallway, crossed his arms over his chest, and turned a typical Beast Boy scowl (**6**) on her before replying angrily, "What now! You gonna insult my intelligence some more or tell me that I'm acting childish?"_

_"No!" she sighed, frustrated with the tension that she had helped build. "No." she said somewhat calmer now. "I…I just…I'm sorry… You're right I was the one acting immature…" He failed to hide the shock on his face. "This time!" she added not wanting to give him any ideas. She waited, not knowing what to say next…_

_"Ok…" he started. "Ok…good. That's…that's good… I mean…thank you." He said obviously trying to accept an apology, he hadn't expected, gracefully. "Why did you…umm… Why did you want to know about…you know…" she said nervously. "You know about pain… Don't you, Raven?" she had to fight to keep the rather stunned expression off of her face. "I…What… What do you mean? Pain?" was all she could say to such an odd question… "Inner pain, Raven…like for instance…"_

_"The pain of watching your parents die and knowing you could have saved them but didn't… You know that kind of pain…" he said in an all too calm voice…and then the creepiest thing happened…he smiled… A grim smile like that of the doomed who find some irony in their situation and cannot help but be amused… "Beast Boy I…I didn't know… We didn't-" "No…you didn't…and that's ok Raven…" she couldn't hide her surprise this time… "It isn't your job to know everything… You don't have to know every little sordid detail of your teammates past… We're us Raven…" he said in the most mature and un-Beast Boy like way. "We wouldn't be here if there wasn't something painful in our past… It's part of us Raven… It's something we all must share… And at the same time something we must all bear alone…" she had never thought she would ever hear Beast Boy say anything anywhere close as to being described as profound… _

_But that was the only way to describe his words… Profound… Deep… Moving… The truth of his words seemed to touch her heart… She could feel his pain mixing with her own… Their own pains…different but so alike… Mingled in the air around her… She thought that if the air didn't lift soon she would break down and start crying or something foolish like that…_

_Fortunately the long terrible silence was ended, "Booyah! Who's ready for some waffles!" Cyborg screamed running in from the hallway. "Waffles sound great Cyborg!" Robin chimed in coming in from the hallway right behind Cyborg with Starfire trailing in his wake. "Oh yes! Waffles sound most glorious indeed! I will get the moostarrd!" Starfire exclaimed joyously._

_"First of all Star, it is pronounced mustard!" Cyborg said vehemently, closing his eyes in frustration. " And secondly we are not putting mustard in the waffle batter ever again! I may have let you get away with that once---" _

_Their conversation about breakfast faded to the back of her mind as Beast Boy blinked for the first time since they entered… He had maintained eye contact throughout the entire interlude… The last thing he said before he left was, "Let's keep this conversation to ourselves…shall we?" and with a glance of dismissal from his grim, penetrating eyes… He was gone…_

_When he came back he was his same old self again: Obnoxious, loud, disrespectful, and hyper as a 5 year old who takes his coffee with 3 teaspoons of crack… It was as if the conversation had never taken place…at least as far as everyone else was concerned…_

-----**End Flashback**-----

From that day forward she was never really sure about what kind of person Beast Boy was… It was obvious that there was an intelligent person behind the simpleton façade…but…the real Beast Boy rarely if ever surfaced… Even when it seemed like she was finally seeing the person he was hiding from everyone he never seemed to remember or even realize that they had talked once before… It was as if they had never spoken… For whatever reason Beast Boy confused her to no end until she decided to simply put the 'real' Beast Boy 'out of sight and out of mind'…

Raven wondered if the day of his parents' death was the 'day' (**7**) he had mentioned earlier… "**I suppose it's the most likely thing… Watching your parents die must be horrible…and to live with that kind of guilt…**" She decided at length that it wasn't her place to speculate and that when Beast Boy wanted to talk about it he would…

She chose not to remember the words and the feelings he had shared with her…to not remember the incident at all… It made life a lot easier… Though it was somewhat more difficult than she would have thought she managed to suppress the memory most of the time… It made it so much easier to carry on as she normally would…treating him with as little respect as possible…

But quite recently she had found a respect for him that could only have come from a demon… He had been stricken…and for the longest time it seemed as if he would whither away and die…but in the end he had paid his price and continued on…like a real man should… She'd found herself wondering on many occasions what was really going on in his head, but was surprised to find out that he was either very good at controlling his emotions or he was able to block out certain memories all together and thus avoid those emotions entirely…

She shook herself mentally, "**This is no time to space out, Raven! The show's about to start!**" They had finally reached the gym and Raven was sure that something decidedly different from the humdrum pace that was the norm in the tower was going to take place…

-**END CHAPTER**-

In Story Notes 

**1**) Ok by 'humans' it basically means mortals in general… Like cryptonians, humans, tamaranians, etc…

**2**) Considering that Raven, Jinx, and Blackfire are all bad-ass babes, chicks, hotties, whatever you wanna call em's… I thought it probable that if they were all living together that they would be on exceptionally friendly terms… As in like…hell… 'Best-girlfriends'…social language isn't my forte…I assume you get the point…

**3**) This isn't really important or anything I would just like to take a moment to say that… ROBIN IS AN ASS!

**4**) My mind is doing a total blank… 'Deadpanned' means that ANIME thing that's between a 'tear drop' and a 'face plant' right? The character's heads turn down all of a sudden and their face is covered in that purple-black haze and there's usually a teardrop… That's what I'm going for… Can't remember… Grrr…Damit!

**5**) I would like to take this time to mention that I am not making fun of blondes in general… I myself have blonde hair… I have nothing against blondes… Thank you; move along…

**6**) It's that weird grimace he does where his face gets all scrunched up… It's really cartoony… Very comedic, not his serious face like in "Beast Within"

**7**) OOOHHH! Is that the DAY? Is it? Is it? Well… Maybe it is and maybe it's not… You just got to wait so there!

**Laburnum's Request**: Man… I feel like such an ass… I'm not gonna get all gay and wishy washy like with that weird ass AUTHOR'S NOTE… But I'm afraid I'm just gonna have to make you guys wait a few more days… Sorry… Count yourselves lucky I was trying to be mean at first and make everyone on that AUTHOR'S NOTE review me again or I was simply going to discontinue this thing in the view that I was making too much stress for myself to keep doing this…but I apparently have some kind of soft spot for my reviewers so I decided that in all probability you weren't actually trying to piss me off… (Which was my first thought) I've been spazzing out more than usual lately and that was the main reason behind that gay AUTHOR'S NOTE… It occurred to me that a lot of you guys might not be on EVERYDAY like me so that might be why NO ONE answered… Seriously did anyone see the dam thing at all? I left it up for three days! That really pissed me off… I nearly stopped writing all together… Anyways my request this time is for you guys to tell me what you think about Robin and what you guys think about Beast Boy kicking the ever loving shit out of him and whether I should wait until later or have him do it now! Plz Review… Peace!

**P.S.** I'm not posting the next chapter until I have at least **27** reviews… I have **21** at the moment so… Get to it!


End file.
